The reasons (most) women hate football

widow

Before you start reading this, climb down from your football shaped soapbox, dismount your team-coloured high horse, leave your defences at the doorstep. This little write-up is not in reference to everyone and if I offend anyone I really don’t mean to it is just my observation and opinion.

First off, I’m not fussed on football, the game itself isn’t bad, I don’t understand it but that’s because I have no interest in it to try and understand it (like I’m sure the majority have no understanding in why us woman need a Louboutin shoe to be on our foot it’s just a shoe with a red bottom right?) the things that come with football are what bothers me. Let me explain

First of all, for some unknown reason, I have observed that football brings out the primate side in you all. There you are plodding along, pacing back and forth on your patch of land and you are territorial about your patch of land and rightly so because it’s yours after all then, all of a sudden, a stranger walks on to your patch of land. You don’t know him or why he’s there and although he isn’t doing anything other than walking on your patch of land this is not suitable behaviour. You’re threatened and that won’t do. You stand tall on your hind legs, you beat your chest loudly, you bare your teeth and widen your eyes and you run full speed and attack the stranger for no other reason than he’s on your patch of land and he doesn’t belong there. Before you know it you’re both bloody and foaming at the mouth with rage burning in your eyes. I have a few questions on this. Why the bloody hell do this? What does fighting with the other side achieve? Does it make you feel like big strong men? Does it mean that because you punched a stranger then your football team is better than his?

It is, dare I say this?, just a game. I understand that you all love and are passionate about football and I don’t mean to belittle the game but that is what it is, a beautiful one but a game nonetheless. Wales have a football team that the Welsh support but then when it comes to a Swansea V Cardiff City match, they all descend with pitchforks and torches looking for blood. It is rarely about the about the actual football then, the majority don’t actually care if the game is technically very good or not just as long as you win so you can “get on over” on the opposing side and then you can sing those stupid chants. Oh, God, The chants!! I hate them so much, they are vulgar and aggressive and make you all look and sound vile. This is my second point!

Swansea (Jack Bastards) are scum and jippos etc according to Cardiff City. I have been to Swansea, it’s quite nice they have an amazing ice-cream shop and a pretty good crazy golf course. I live on the outskirts of Cardiff and in my years I have seen many a travelling folk pass through, I say this because jippo is the derogatory term for gypsy travellers, right? The same goes for Manchester City V Manchester United or Manchester United V Liverpool. I have heard the chants about the Munich Disaster and the Hillsborough Disaster and anyone who sings these chants or makes up any chants about any other kind of unfortunate event where people have been injured or lost their lives is an absolute knob. I would question their complete character if they could freely mock peoples tragedies. The world is ugly enough as it is we don’t need you to act ugly too. Just chill out. You are all there to support your team, to relish in the atmosphere, to see your idols doing what they do and love best. It’s disgusting and it makes you unattractive and it gives room for comparisons to Hitler, The KKK and the like (trust me, I can do this speech, it makes sense)

Point 3, you men think it’s strange when two girls go to the toilet together. We usually do this so we can have a little chat about the male company we have or we need other female’s opinion to make sure we look okay if we’re a little self conscious or, if we’re inside your heads, we just want to make out for a bit. So, why do you feel the need to go out in packs when the football is on? I walked past a pub earlier it was about midday and there were about 20 lads between 20 and 30 years old, all dressed as Santa, downing pints (and bloody chanting!) I knew the lads as the local football team and I know how the rest of today will pan out. They will carry on drinking excessively whilst watching the match, secretly hawk-eyeing their team-mates to make sure they are drinking just as much or more because no-one wants to be the pussy! They will then venture into town clutching their luke-warm cans of lager, slapping each other’s arses as they walk (they hate gays though, right!) They arrive at the next pub, still talking about the match saying what little trick they would’ve done instead if they had been playing. Instead they play some crappy drinking game chanting as the down shots or pints, doing the raised arm finger point thing Loser!, Loser!. Loser! (we get it, he lost!) They’ll chat up some woman then hurl abuse at her if she passes his affections calling her fat, slag, ugly etc. They will then descend to the club and will probably get refused entry for being too drunk or for all being dressed like Santa so then they’ll start football chant abuse at the bouncer usually using some sort of racist or homophobic remark. As the booze and anger swill together in their tummies they turn on each other and start fighting or worse they get heated and spot two younger lads wearing a football shirt of a team they don’t like, they’ll surround them and like a pack of wolves start attacking. Nearby there is an hysterical woman screaming ’Stop it! Stop it!, please! This fight will be etched into her memory forever you know. If she ever comes across him again, she will be rude to him and she will tell everyone how awful a person they actually are!

Point 4, Now, when it comes to watching it at home there are reasons we don’t like it. We don’t actually care that it’s on the TV. there are other things we can do, it’s what comes with it. The constant “you fucking wanker” at the ref. (never mind kissing your mother but kissing me with that mouth?) The jumping up from the sofa and throwing stuff around in a rage (cushions, fine but the remote or the ornamental vase from my late grandmother are not acceptable lobbing objects). Then the sinking depression you go into if you lose is horrendous! Sometimes I am terrified of speaking to my husband if his team loses. Everything becomes a struggle. ‘What do you want for dinner?’

‘I don’t fucking care!’

Well, with an attitude like that 1 – you can make your own goddamn dinner and 2 – you wonder why we get mad and say it’s just a game!

But then if you win, that’s it, if we don’t give you sex straight away you will die! The euphoria you feel when your team wins means us women all of a sudden look ridiculously hot to you. You need to score like your team scored, you need to go yyyeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Like you did when that ball slides into the net (well that sounded a bit of a double-entendre!) Well it’s the weekend and we are home that means we are in our comfy’s and sans make-up, all we want to do is clean, ready trashy magazines and eat chocolate, not do you, so then you go in a mood. It’s never win-win so it’s easier just to say no football in the house! I have so many things to say, loads in fact, but that’s what January is for!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

xxxxx

15 comments

  • I enjoyed reading this. .. There is a side that many don’t see when they are the fans.

  • I love football because it makes you feel alive! it gives you something to believe in. Something to share with thousands of strangers. not the reasons you stated however. seemed a little skewed to me

  • Matt Hodgson

    Pretty poor generic ‘women dislikes football’ article in my opinion. After stating that your not fussed about football and that you don’t understand it becomes a mixed bad of old stereotypes and lumps all football fans and young men into the same group. I can pick out the majority of points and aim them at rugby players and fans cricket players and fans etc. I think you should probably take your own advice and come down off your own soap box and re evaluate the situation and then writing an informed article on it.

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  • I did have a little giggle when I first read it but after analysing what you have said, it is a little sad to define the majority of footie fans in this way. I met my husband at a football ground (Swindon) and am so very glad that I was involved in the atmosphere in the stands! Yes, we were loud, yes we swore, yes we went to the ground in a gang, yes we chanted, yes we did get excited when our team scored and yes we went mad when the ref messed up – AND I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! And if it wasn’t for this experience in my life, I may never have met my husband – so I am eternally grateful!! I am female by the way and would love to be able to afford a season ticket so that I could continue screaming and shouting every week xxx

  • This is a Cliché – at best.

    Your representations of gender are an embarrassing simplification, as are your representation of football supporters. If you have, as you claim, just written what you have observed, then you are living your life through incredible blinkers.

    There are so many holes in your argument I really do not know where to start…

    Your third paragraph (the dragged out description of a hypothetical fight) bares no resemblance to reality. I thought at this point that you were writing a tongue in cheek article, cleverly highlighting the crazy assumptions that some people hold about football supporters (this would then at least explain why you portrayed yourself as a ‘women’ – the long standing stereotype that is used synonymously with the idea of ignorance around football). Sadly, when I read on I realised that you might actually believe what you were writing.

    The fourth paragraph – as with most of your article – can be explained away through your confusion around the terms ‘majority and minority’. You pick out the very worse characteristics of football supporters and then lazily label everyone with them. This would be comparable to describing all women as ‘bitchy’ or ‘vain’. Some Black people might fight – this does not mean black people are violent. Some football supporters are violent – this does not mean football supporters are violent (or any of the other negative clichés you throw around). It is a form of discrimination, it is that simple.

    On a more subtle point, I would also like a second to defend those who mindlessly get caught up in SOME of the unpleasant stuff you describe – they are not comparable to Hitler or the KKK. To suggest they are undermines the millions who died and suffered under Hitler and the KKK. Mindlessly chanting (which we should be working together to stamp out) is not comparable to gas chambers and lynchings. If you were trying to make the subtle sociological point that it is this sort of mindless chanting that is reinforcing an idea that can lead to atrocities occurring then I am all with you – you might just need to clarify your point.

    If your husband fits the portrayal of a football fan that you have outlined above – I suspect the problem is not that he is a football fan, more that he is an aggressive, racist, violent, manic depressant with terrible mood swings.

    I am sorry to rant, but this article (just like some chants on the terrace) play into a form of discrimination that we should all be fighting against. If we want to move football into the 21st century, we have to have a positive vision of what we want it to look like. Focusing in on a minority’s actions and applying it to the wider game is not going to help anyone.

    I am a football fan, I am also spend my life working hard against all forms of discrimination and prejudice.

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  • The Football Widow

    Steve,

    It’s truly not truely.

    xx

  • The average football fan doesn’t go kicking off in town after a game – I mean if they did there’d be the best part of 25,000 locked up after a Cardiff match. A bit of chanting (exlcuding racism and the disaster chants) has never hurt anyone – mostly it’s a good excuse to have a bit of a laugh. I’ve never been offended by the anti-Welsh chanting at an away game because my skin is thicker than that. To be honest maybe it’s your bloke that’s the problem if he kicks off that much.

  • Jayne Smalley

    Quote from Steve,,
    “The feeling of belonging to something TRUELY special, sharing your love of something with thousands of people on a daily basis.”
    Unquote.

    I can identify with this Steve, not football, but something else I feel is truly special. So yes I so agree with this statement.
    Regarding the passion shown for football, I used to be one of the “It’s only a game” brigade. I’ve now changed that view point.
    Yes, it “is” a game per-se, but when you have a passion for something, no it is not “only” a game.
    The game becomes (or I can hazard a guess regarding football if I draw a comparison with my own passion) a whole way of life and defines your identity as you say.
    It becomes part of you and you part of it.

  • Nice legs in the picture.

  • Men ‘different to women’ shocker.

    Kind of forgot the ‘some football fans different to other football fans’ shocker too, though.

    Next time you go to watch a football match, have a look at how many fans, really, fit the profile you’ve described. You might be surprised to learn that it’s the minority.

    When I go I see boys, girls, families, pensioners, groups of lads, groups of girls, black people, white people, Asian people, disabled people…I could go on.

    The point is that, contrary to the somewhat lazy conclusion you’ve come to, modern football is embraced and enjoyed by a gratifyingly diverse clientele – irrespective of gender, age, race, colour or creed. And for that it should be celebrated. I think you’ve missed the bigger picture here for the sake of a cheap jibe.

    Not every football fan is a lager-swilling thug. And not every woman likes gardening and shoes. I think you should see past your own limitations before judging people on theirs.

  • While parts of your article are possibly true in isolated incidents, myself as a life long football fan i can see the other side that your clearly missing.

    The feeling of belonging to something TRUELY special, sharing your love of something with thousands of people on a daily basis.

    As a football fan I have a ready made conversation starter with almost any man and an increasing number of women. It’s a common bond shared by a massacre percentage of the worlds population.

    Most of us true football fans arnt hooligans, we might seem a little boorish at times yeah and some might look intimidating in packs but most problems stem from society not football itself. idiots will always tag themselves onto a group of people where they think there is safety in numbers. They’re not footy fans

    I won’t for a minute try to defend the behaviour and ridiculous wages of some players but when it comes to PROPER football fans this is a beautiful thing, it’s a nurtured love that has been fed and honed through thick and thin. To some people (men and women) your football team can half define your identity to work mates and colleagues, it’s the first subject on a Monday morning and to a footy fan it is their religion.

    You focus on the negative side of football but can I suggest your maybe a little jealous of the common bond we share? I know you don’t care for football but whats wrong with having a passion that the whole world can share?

    Steve

  • Cardiff lost to Boro at home on Saturday. As I was leaving the ground, I didn’t see anyone displaying any anger. It seems to me that you are criticising young men for doing what young men have always done. You have tacked football on to that criticism. You are a decent writer but your theme wasn’t very well thought out. The prose is good, the polemic is narrow-minded and tabloidesque. Merry Xmas, 6/10.

  • Jayne Smalley

    Loved this. Great read ! :-)

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